As we, my fellow disciple and I, approached the prison cell which held the man we followed, John the Baptist, our eyes struggled to adjust from the light of the day to the ever-increasing darkness as we walked deeper into the confines of his imprisonment; the intensity of the heat outside exaggerated the stench of human feces and urine that hung thickly within. I tried to reduce the ferocity of the odor by draping my cloak across my face, but it was futile in its attempt; it was inescapable. My mouth, now inexplicably dry, was in complete contrast to my clothing as sweat poured forth from my body drenching them almost to the full.
Standing now directly in front of his cell, I called out John’s name with a tone that mimicked my emotional mindset, shallow and lifeless, and with no response was forced again, with greater volume, to speak his name once more. In the darkness, sauntering ever so slowly towards us, he emerged looking nothing like the man that spoke with great authority just months earlier. His frayed and tattered clothing exposed the depravity that enveloped him. He had always been thin, but now he appeared emaciated, his hair was long and matted, his skin was spotted red with bug bites and flies swarmed around him with no regard for their landing sites; they were on his eyelids, beside his lips and were simply relentless in their attack upon him. He was, somehow, unaware of their annoying existence?
I stood, frozen and in disbelief, not knowing what to say, trying to make sense of all the emotions that had come to the forefront with great intensity; utter sadness, grief, anger, resentment, and frustration, each singularly, permeating my existence. Looking at John, my inner thoughts quickly turned, wondering, what must he have felt? Isolated, alone and reduced to something less than human.
The eerie quiet, it too hanging in the air, was broken and his soft, almost imperceptible deeply wounded words revealed the totality of his demise. Would you please go to Jesus and ask, “art thou He that should come or look we for another”?
He said nothing else, simply turned, as if defeated, and shuffled to the darkest corner of the enclosure, out of sight, and to his place of secluded isolation.
Upon my return to find Jesus, I once again found myself in deep thought, speaking nothing to my friend, but rather recounting all that we had witnessed and experienced with John. I could not help but wonder, how had he, John, fallen into such “doubt” after one of the most intimate encounters with Jesus? It did not make any sense. The day, that day, reverberated within my innermost being…
John, as with many other days, was baptizing those seeking and needing repentance in the Jordan river. However, it soon bore a cataclysmic encounter as Jesus himself approached near to our location. John, in an instant and with great volume and certainty announced, “Behold, the Lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of the world”. Of course, the Sadducees and the Pharisees present grumbled at the revelation yet a quiet fell upon the entirety of the masses as Jesus slowly waded into the water. The atmosphere seemingly changed, inexplicably, as John and Jesus spoke with one another quietly; their conversation was intimate and incapable of being heard by the masses.
John carefully proceeded to baptize Jesus and when he lifted Him out of the water, John, rather than looking at Jesus, immediately looked towards the heavens, as if mesmerized by something we were not privy to seeing with our eyes. His gaze would fall slowly back and upon Jesus and they stood staring at one another with nothing being spoken between them. Jesus, before exiting the river, pulled John close and to His being and embraced him, not a normal embrace but one with a tenderness that was filled with love.
Later in the day, as we sat around a small campfire eating our meager meal for the evening, John would expound on the intimate moments of Jesus’ baptism. He, with the greatest of calm, said that when Jesus came out of the water, the clouds began to shift and the heavens opened to the full and a white dove, emerged, slowly, and lighted down upon him; an atmospheric changing peace, also inexplicable, accompanied the dove’s arrival. Yet there was more he noted. John hesitated for a moment, silence fell, and we waited, our eyes fixated upon him, waiting for what to was to be spoken next. John revealed, tenderly, that what happened next brought clarity, immense joy and a tinge of fear all at the same time. From the same heavens came the audible statement… “This is my son, in whom I am well pleased.” We sat, in the confines of quiet, as no one uttered a word.
The stir of a crowd brought me back to the present as we found Jesus ministering to a smaller group of people. I waited patiently, fearful to be honest, until the time seemed right to inquire as John had requested. I could barely look into his eyes, that of Jesus, a bit embarrassed, yet he knew that something stirred within me and gently reached forth his hand to my shoulder and an immediate calm fell upon me. I, sheepishly, spoke briefly of our time with John the Baptist and he listened intently, His attention fully focused upon my words, and I came forth with the request; “Art thou he that should come or look we for another”? Jesus, his eyes telling of his inner hurt said, “Go your way, and tell John what things ye have seen and heard; how that the blind see, the lame walk, the lepers are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, to the poor the gospel is preached. And blessed is he, whosoever, shall not be offended in me”.
Father, this story, has caused me to contemplate so very much. How did John the Baptist, one of the many heroes of our faith, find himself in such a place of “doubt”? His experiential knowledge with your Son Jesus was beyond that of ours for a certainty, yet, in the midst of a horribly dire situation, one which we cannot begin to fathom, was found questioning all that he believed and had attached his life to? We must recognize, sooner, much sooner rather than later, the source of this “doubt” and its foundation. You Father, heard, most assuredly to your dismay and disappointment, the very first question we see in scripture as it came forth from the subtlety of the snake to that of Eve in reference to the tree of life… “yea, hath God said, ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden”? Eve, in her defense, was not with Adam when the command was given and that uncertainty, that hint of deflection, was carefully placed into that of her mind. Maybe we should not be too hard on ourselves when we also are found wanting, unsure, with so many questions unanswered, as we traverse life, at times, so very difficult, alone, isolated from the world and without hope as “doubt” clouds our thought process. I fear it has been used, this tactic, upon each and every one of us with great success?! There is yet more Father, within this story, that I wonder if we have overlooked; you have allowed me to catch a bit of a glimpse, with your eyes, a truth that has eluded me in the past and it has taken me to my knees with its revelation. Jesus, could have, when asked for clarification, taken it upon himself to go to John in person but rather chose to send forth the two inquiring disciples back with His answer to John. Father, should this not be us? Firstly, finding ourselves, seeking you out specifically, asking you questions in the intimacy of our time with thee. Secondly, and possibly of equal importance, if not greater, ever ready, once we have been given intimate revelations, to make ourselves available, going to those that are in a place of debilitating doubt, no matter the cause, and listen, intently, to their innermost hurts and uncertainties, and with great care, encourage, with great resolve, speaking with surety your great promises. I shall close Father with this verse, “Remember them that are in bonds, as bound with them, and them which suffer adversity, as being yourselves also in the body”. We must be ever careful not to limit the breadth of its scope, reducing its reach to just that of a physical confinement. Bonds shall come in many forms, for many of us emotionally and mentally, yet they shackle, impede, and hinder those imprisoned with the same ruthless and persistent cruelty. Let us look beyond ourselves Lord, today, and inspire one that is in desperate need of your love. We thank you for allowing us to walk in your stead, and though we all, as vessels, may be marred, chipped, and cracked, it is through those imperfections that the light of your Son can shine to a world that needs to see and feel His love.
Matthew 3:13-17 “Then cometh Jesus from Galilee to Jordan unto John, to be baptized of him. But John forbad him, saying, I have need to be baptized of thee, and comest thou to me? And Jesus answering said unto him, Suffer it to be so now: for thus it becometh us to fulfil all righteousness. Then he suffered him. And Jesus, when he was baptized, went up straightway out of the water: and, lo, the heavens were opened unto him, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove, and lighting upon him: And lo a voice from heaven, saying, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased”.
Luke 7: 19-23 “And John calling unto him two of his disciples sent them to Jesus, saying, Art thou he that should come? or look we for another? When the men were come unto him, they said, John Baptist hath sent us unto thee, saying, Art thou he that should come? or look we for another? And in that same hour he cured many of their infirmities and plagues, and of evil spirits; and unto many that were blind he gave sight. Then Jesus answering said unto them, go your way, and tell John what things ye have seen and heard; how that the blind see, the lame walk, the lepers are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, to the poor the gospel is preached. And blessed is he, whosoever shall not be offended in me”.
Daniel