12/2/13
In the eyes of Joseph…
I sit here alone in my thoughts as I watch Jesus carefully whittle away at the small table leg. He was in the shop early this morning and must have sensed my frustration as we arrived back home from Jerusalem late last night. Our journey to celebrate Passover was extended by four days. He had stayed behind, unknown to us and we had already traveled a day’s distance before we figured it out. To make matters worse, once we arrived back in Jerusalem we spent three days, with much anxiety, trying to find him with no success. Finally, of all places, we found him in the temple, both listening and asking questions of the teachers within. All of those in the midst of the conversations were astonished that Jesus, now just twelve, had much understanding at such a young age. Finally, Mary beckoned him from the crowd with a look that only a mother can give and pulled him aside and away from the onlookers. She asked him what he was thinking, staying behind and without anyone’s knowledge. His response now reverberates in my mind… “Why did you seek Me? Did you not know that I must be about My Father’s business?”
Sitting here, still a bit angry, I watched him as he intently worked the small piece of wood into the shape he desired. I could not help but make the connection. Jesus, he too, was a work in progress and both Mary and I had been given a great responsibility to assist in his maturity. My mind raced back twelve years and I began to relive the confused days prior to his birth. The fragments of paper, now aging, that I had written upon some 13 years ago hold my innermost thoughts as I reread them once again this morning…
I was working in my shop on a table and chair set for my dear friend Timothy and his family of five. Like any other day, it had been a little chilly early in the morning but the heat of the day soon would prevail and the once dry wood shavings sat at my feet now as a clumpy mass as my sweat poured uncontrollably from my forehead and onto the floor.
I had been so engrossed in my work I had no idea that it was time for lunch and that Mary had slipped in with the small satchel carrying the sustenance that I now knew I was needing. As I stopped to wipe the back of my neck, my face and arms, Mary, as only Mary could do, began to unwrap and prepare a plate for me. The first glass of water went down quickly and as I looked at her she seemed very uneasy. Not her normal bubbly self and I could immediately sense that “something” was wrong.
In my mind I thought that maybe our pending wedding, all of the planning and all of the preparations had just become too much today. I tried without success to calm her as I pulled her near to me in a soft embrace. I pulled her hair back from her beautiful eyes and looked deeply into them, trying once again to calm her with small strokes of my callused hand across her face. Without warning she began to cry… softly at first and then a flood of tears broke out and she simply went limp into my arms.
After a couple minutes, she pulled slowly away from my embrace and asked for a chair that she might sit down and tell me of something that happened during the night. That was an easy request as I pulled one of the many unfinished ones within arms length, wiped off the wood shavings with my hands and placed it near for her to sit. She asked me to sit down as well.
As she looked up at me, wiping tears from her eyes, she simply said, “Joseph, you know that I love you without limits.” I shook my head in agreement and noted that I knew that. She however was not satisfied and reiterated once again, “you know that I love you and that I would never do anything to hurt you and would never be unfaithful to you.” Yes I know that Mary…what is it sweetheart?
She paused for a brief moment and her eyes began to look away from mine and towards the floor. I then knew something was wrong, very wrong. I reached over and placed my hand under her chin and slowly moved it upward so that she once again looked at me, eye to eye, and asked her to just tell me what was wrong.
She took a deep breath and said “that she had an encounter with Gabriel last night.” Gabriel? I had lived in Nazareth my entire life and I knew no man named Gabriel. Mary said, “no not a man, he was an angel and he came to me in the middle of the night.” An angel I asked? Of course I had heard of the many stories, the many chance occurrences’ that my forefathers and those of the Jewish faith had had over the years but I never had direct knowledge of anyone that had an actual encounter. So I said go on, tell me more.
I noticed she now became a little bit excited and said, ”it is good news Joseph, very good news”. Again I said well go ahead already and tell me! Joseph, these are the exact words he spoke to me as I will never forget them. “Rejoice, highly favored one, the Lord is with you; blessed are you among women!”“But when he spoke that to me I was confused Joseph, very confused as I am so young and you and I both know we are poor and have very little. How can I be blessed among woman? Yes Mary we have little but what we do have is each other and we have our faith in the God of our fathers and trust in His hand in our lives. Do we not? “Yes Joseph but there is more and this will not be easy for you to hear.”
Mary, I love you, I trust you and we know that whatever it is that God desires for us or from us, we together can accomplish. I remember the smile, the smile that came across her face…her beautiful eyes once again regained their wonderful color and I simply said go on Mary, tell me the rest.
She reached across the distance between our chairs and now grabbed my face with both of her hands and said, the angel spoke, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bring forth a Son, and shall call His name Jesus. He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Highest; and the Lord God will give Him the throne of His father David. And He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of His kingdom there will be no end.”
“Yet something in my spirit Joseph told me that it would not come from your loins?” All I could muster was a confused “what?” She said, “I asked the angel how could this be since I have never been with a man and you and I are not married yet? Jospeh, he told me, The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Highest will overshadow you; therefore, also, that Holy One who is to be born will be called the Son of God.”
I pulled away and let go of her hands and leaned back in my chair. I sat there in disbelief. I am not sure how long and it was as if I was the only one in the workshop as I tried to process what Mary had just told me. Then I felt her hand on my leg and she brought me back to reality. “Joseph…Joseph…talk to me please! Please don’t just sit there.”
I felt an anger well up within me and I stood up to help relieve some of the tension and began to pace slowly around my shop. I picked up a piece of wood that lay close by and threw it at the wall as my anger now boiled over and into a rage. Mary, wait a second…so you are telling me that I will not be the one that impregnates you with child, and that this “Son of God” will be from the loins of another?
She mustered a simple “yes Joseph.”
I remember asking her to leave and to do so quickly…to get out of my sight! She certainly could sense my unbelief in this absurd story and rose up from her chair. Before she left she turned back to me as she readied to walk through the door and said, “the angel told me two more things… my cousin Elizabeth has also conceived a son in her old age.” What? You know she and Zacharias are way too old to have children…you have lost it?! “Joseph he also told me “with God nothing will be impossible.” “I know you are beyond upset and I have already planned to visit her for some time.” She paused and we looked deeply into one another’s eyes. She said, “I love you Joseph” and she turned and walked out.
My heart sank, I fell to my knees and wept from a place deep within just as she left the shop.
Day after day, as I worked in the heat of my shop, my mind tried to figure out who, why, how could she do this to us? What man could Mary have been with and without my knowledge? We were together every waking hour outside of my work and enjoyed each other’s presence so much. She did not have time, did she? I was a miserable wreck and unable to concentrate many days as the uncertainty of the whole encounter simply was too much for me to handle. Her absence did not help matters any and I longed to see her even though I still had much to sort through. She had been gone three months and I wondered in my mind if she had begun to “show” any signs of her pregnancy yet?
Her presence startled me and she whispered my name, “Joseph.” Her voice was so settling, angelic if you will. I could contain myself no longer and stood to embrace the one that I truly loved without end. We stood there, saying nothing and simply enjoyed the warmth of each other’s tender clinch. It was late and we walked, hand in hand, to our respective homes and I told her that we would speak to one another in the morning. I placed my hands on her cheeks, gave her small kiss and left her standing in the door way. She once again simply said, “Joseph, I love you.” My pride however would not allow me to return the sentiment.
Though I was beyond tired, sleep did not come easy. Though I did love her immensely, the thoughts of the last three months replayed themselves over and over again in confines of my mind. Heartbroken, I knew that I must put an end to our relationship as pride, once again would not allow me to be the father of another man’s child. I however had no desire that she would be shamed by any in our village and I was determined to do sever our relationship in the most graceful way I knew. She certainly would be better off without me and my distrust. I felt a peace, as the constant wrestling in my mind began to wane and my thoughts finally carried me to sleep…but not for long?!
That night changed the course of my life. In a dream, and angel of the Lord appeared unto me we as well. The angel said, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take to you Mary your wife, for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit. And she will bring forth a Son, and you shall call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins. So all this was done that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by the Lord through the prophet, saying: Behold, the virgin shall be with child, and bear a Son, and they shall call His name Immanuel, which is translated, “God with us.”
I awakened with much joy, tremendous joy! It was true…she was telling me the truth this whole time. I could stand it no longer and raced over to Mary’s house and knocked on the door even though darkness still held the early morning captive. Mary, half asleep from the day’s previous journey, looked inquisitively at me. I could only utter Mary, please forgive me, forgive me for being so distrusting. I grabbed her hand, and we sat down at the foot of her bed and I told her of my dream and we both began to weep softly. She fell into my arms and we said no more. Nothing more needed to be said.
The next six months brought much anticipation and we were ready and excited to be parents. The time drew nearer still each day but, regrettably, I had to travel to Bethlehem to pay taxes since I was of the house and lineage of David. I did not want to miss his birth but it looked inevitable: I simply had no choice. Mary was livid and she too was determined that I would not miss the birth of our son, the son of God, Jesus; so she decided she would travel with me though I tried desperately to persuade her otherwise.
The road was hard for Mary as we traveled the 70 miles to Bethlehem and it was slow going for sure. We arrived later than expected and unfortunately the season of taxing brought an increase of travelers to the streets of Bethlehem. As night fell we found ourselves in quite a predicament and could not find a room or shelter anywhere. Of greater importance, Mary started having contractions pretty regular and I became nervous as to our dilemma. I returned to an innkeeper and begged him for any type of accommodation to shelter Mary for the night…Jesus would be born soon. His only solution was the barn that was just around the corner.
Mary struggled as she lay on a make shift bed that I had created out of the hay in the barn; we had an extra blanket that we packed and I laid that on top of the hay to soften its offering. I had managed to find a young lady to assist Mary in her time of need and we all three sat struggling with the conditions in the barn. The smell alone was enough to drive any person to insanity and the animals, excess in their number, were louder than normal making an extraordinary amount of noise. I wondered if they somehow could sense what was about to take place.
Mary was in much pain and the young lady gestured that it would not be long now. The anticipation was killing me when it dawned on me that we had no place to lay Jesus once he was born. I knew Mary would cradle him for a time but soon she would tire and there would need to be a place for him to lie. In the corner of my eye, I saw a manger and though it was in pretty rough shape and there was a donkey mulling around for any leftover food, I knew I could clean it up and make it work. I took off my outer robe, smacked the donkey and began to clean it out. I then gathered hay once again and carefully placed it in and to overflowing in the manger. I then took my outer robe and placed it on the top to soften it accordingly.
The young lady asked me to leave as Jesus was soon to be born. As I stood outside the barn, though there were throngs of people and activity, I felt alone. I witnessed the busyness of the inn, people scurrying to and fro and tending to their immediate needs. The neighing of the donkeys was tremendous and almost overwhelming; one after another with no end. Yet through it all, I heard Mary cry out in pain and it brought me back to my reality; I could only wonder as to the miracle that was forthcoming and if any of those near, in their hurried states, knew the significance this little barn was housing. Again Mary cried out, this time with greater ferocity and longer in length and then I heard, barely at first a whimper, and then a loud shrill. The once neighing donkeys seemingly ceased all at once and a quiet filled the area. It was eerie to say the least and I knew…Jesus had been born.
As I waited intently, I noticed directly above the barn a tremendous light, others as well, as we looked up into the sky to see a lone bright star. The bottom trail of the star seemingly reached down to the top of the barn and the area which moments earlier held us in its darkness now was illuminated with abundance.
It seemed like an eternity before the young lady came out and motioned that I could go in to Mary. I was nervous at first but when I saw Mary in the intermittent dancing light that breached the cracks in the barn from the brilliant star, her smile let me know that all was well. Jesus was laying in her arms, wrapped so carefully in the clothes, swaddling him completely, that we had brought. He looked so peaceful! We sat together, in the utter slums of a barn, beholding the Son of God. Mary soon began to tire and I took Jesus into my arms, looked deeply into his eyes and I was captivated. They held me in their grip as I placed him in the manger. This was not just any child, but a child of the most High, the God of my forefathers, the very same God with whom we had entrusted our lives to.
Thoughts:
- Joseph was a simply a carpenter, Mary, just a young girl; both were probably poor in the eyes of the world. David the shepherd boy and others to follow too would and will be the lot which He chooses from.
1 Samuel 16:7 “But the Lord said unto Samuel, look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart.” He continues on to anoint David.
1 Corinthians 1:26-29 “For you see your calling, brethren, that not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called. But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty;and the base things of the world and the things which are despised God has chosen, and the things which are not, to bring to nothing the things that are,that no flesh should glory in His presence.”
Someone, a man whom I hold dear, once told me… “God does not call a church, God calls a man and or a woman.” God’s call is not concerned with a church building, a man made denomination, theology or traditions as warned by Paul in Colossians 2:6-9 “As ye have therefore received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk ye in him: rooted and built up in him, and established in the faith, as ye have been taught, abounding therein with thanksgiving. Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ. For in him dwelleth all the fullness of the Godhead bodily.”
He calls today for the very “poor in spirit.” Could this be you?
- He spoke specific to Joseph in dreams and though many discount dreams, scripture is flooded with those that God spoke to in such a manner: Job 33: 15-16 notes, “In a dream, in a vision of the night, when deep sleep falls upon men, while slumbering on their beds, then He opens the ears of men, and seals their instruction.”
The question for us today is simply this…How does God speak to each of us specific?
Let us consider this thought…If we are not hearing Him, something is very wrong!
- Finally, we must recognize that when God calls us, that the path WILL not be easy as some might imagine. There will, there must be a price that must be paid to follow Christ.
Jesus notes as He speaks to His disciples in John 16:18-21 “If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you. If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you. Remember the word that I said unto you, the servant is not greater than his lord. If they have persecuted me, they WILL also persecute you; if they have kept my saying, they will keep yours also. But all these things WILL they do unto you for my names sake, because they know not him that sent me.”
Jesus once again in Luke 9: 22-25 “the Son of man must suffer many things, and be rejected of the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be slain, and be raised the third day. And he said to them all, if any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, she same shall save it. For what is a man advantaged, if he gain the whole world, and lose himself, or be cast away?
Listen to the words again, “if and man will come after me”… “if”…we have a choice, it is voluntary! Christ will not force us to go after Him. But if we do, “let him deny himself,” there must be a turning from all that we desire, possibly many of the plans we have for our lives?!
“Take up his cross daily.” First note that this is a daily requirement. This word cross in the original Greek language is powerful and in essence summarizes what being a follower of Christ must entail. The word cross denotes “that portion of affliction which is endured by pious men and woman as a trial of their faith, to conform them to the example of their crucified master.”
Lastly we must “follow Him” as it is not enough to just give Him lip service. We must follow, to lands of His choosing, to places others fear to tread, with immediate obedience, for time is of the essence!
Lord, I am reminded of that which Peter spoke in 1 Peter 2:9 “but ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a peculiar people, that ye should show forth the praises of him who hath called you out of the darkness into his marvelous light.” As with Joseph, the word was hard, the call would be costly, yet through it all, you would lead as only a leader with such experiential knowledge could. The same will hold true today “if” we too would be obedient in listening to the call you have for our lives. Forgive us Lord for your “calls” that have fallen on deaf ears. There are those that still remain in darkness, there are those hurting, those lonely, those without hope to the point of suicide. Forgive us Lord for indifference, for the fulfillment of self, for looking in rather than looking out. Could we walk in such a call… “a chosen generation, to be a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a peculiar people?” Is it possible that we might but be bearers of just a bit of your wondrous light? We repent of our dullness of hearing and can only ask with humble hearts that you would give us another opportunity!
I am yours…Daniel